Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Youth Online Behavior Study for McAfee

The Youth Online Behavior Study for McAfee
Conducted online by Harris Interactive from May 4 to May 17, 2010.

Today’s youth are online pros who know how to navigate through content, play games, and use communication services. Here’s a picture of their general online usage:

• Half of kids surveyed say that they have been using the Internet for five years or more, and 58% consider themselves heavy users who access the Internet six or seven days a week.

• Communicating and downloading content are two primary uses of the Internet by young people, but education also plays an important role. Nearly 80% say they use the Web to do research for school assignments.

• Gaming is also a popular activity, with 61% of kids saying they play games online, including multiplayer online games.

• Social networking is a fast-growing online activity. 81% of 16- to 17-year-olds report having at least one social networking account; this number has grown significantly since 2008.

• More than half (53%) of kids say that they typically view and download media online.

Parental influence
Given the amount of time kids spend online, how much are you involved in their online habits? We found that, for the most part, parents try to stay informed about their kids’ online lives, but they more closely monitor younger children. Here’s what else we found:

• Nearly all kids (91%) say that their parents trust them to do what’s right online. However, 56% say that their parents know some of what they do online, but not everything, and a quarter (26%) report that their parents don’t have time to check up on what they do online.

• About a third (32%) say that they don’t tell their parents what they are doing online, and would change their behavior if they knew their parents were watching (31%).

• Even though parents are less likely to monitor their children’s behavior as they get older, young people are more inclined to hide what they do online from their parents as they get older. By the time they reach the ages of 16 or 17, 56% of teens hide their online activities.
• The most common ways that kids hide their online activities from their parents are by minimizing the browser when their parents are nearby (29%), hiding and deleting text messages (20%), and clearing the browser history (21%). Interestingly, girls are more likely to engage in the first two activities than boys.

• Parents should note that about one third of young people say that they “often” or “always” hide their online activities.

Risky online behavior
Despite the fact that there is roughly the same level of online danger today as in 2008, most (95%) kids who participated in the survey are confident in their ability to stay safe online, yet our report shows that they still engage in risky behaviors. Here are some of the areas where we saw red flags:

• Although teens are heavy Internet users, it’s still surprising that 27% say that they have accidentally infected their home computer with a virus or other malware, and 14% say that they shared their passwords with friends.

• Perhaps because girls tend to communicate more, they are more likely to engage in risky behaviors such as chatting with people they don’t know in the offline world (25% girls overall and 43% among 16- to 17-year-olds). Girls also report higher frequencies of being harassed and bullied online than boys.

• Almost a third (29%) of teens have downloaded a program without their parents’ knowledge and 16- to 17-year-old boys (45%) are most likely to download programs without parental knowledge, or those of x-rated content.

• While more than half (52%) of young people say they know someone who has experienced cyberbullying, only 29% say they have experienced it themselves.

• However, one in four kids (25%) report that they wouldn’t know what to do if they were bullied or harassed online.

Changes since 2008
The main changes we’ve seen in teens’ online behavior over the last two years are a growth in social networking and sharing of information, as well as increased use of the Internet overall.

When it comes to social networking, 73% of 13- to 17-year-olds today say they have an account on a social networking site, compared to 59% in 2008. This increase in social networking could be the cause behind the increase in personal information sharing (56% of 16- to 17-year-olds) since teens now have more platforms and opportunities to share details about their lives.

This year’s survey also shows an increase in Internet use overall, most likely due to the proliferation of Internet-enabled smartphones and gaming consoles, as well as Wi-Fi hotspots. Teens now have easier access to the Internet. As usage increases, so do the possible risks.

Another change is the amount of teens downloading music or videos from a free service (from 28% in 2008 to 46% in 2010), which could be because of the popularity of portable digital music players like the Apple iPod. This could also be a factor as to why more teens are infecting their family computers—along with the free music, they may also be downloading viruses, spyware, and other malware.

More teens also admit to giving their cell phone numbers to someone online whom they don’t know in the offline world (12% this year, compared to 8% in 2008), presumably because more teens have cell phones.

As Internet access and Internet-enabled devices continue to grow, there seems to be a greater need for education and awareness about how kids should behave online.

Cyberbullying remains a problem
Although cyberbullying statistics are flat (14% of teens admitted to engaging in cyberbullying in 2010, versus 15% in 2008), this data shows that despite current efforts, engagement in cyberbullying isn’t getting any better which may indicate that education efforts need to be increased or evaluated in order to decrease this behavior.

Furthermore, incidents, such as cyberpranking (sending anonymous emails to someone at school) and spreading rumors online, tend to increase as teens get older. This could mean that the large number of tweens that are online now could face more cyberbullying in coming years.

The growing popularity of social networking could also open the door to further incidents of cyber- bullying because kids have more ways to contact and harass each other and can find out more personal information about one another posted on social networking profiles and Twitter feeds.

It is clear from the research that cyberbullying is not something that will go away anytime soon without increased education and prevention.

Girls versus boys
Girls seem to be more vulnerable online than boys, perhaps because communicating and sharing information are more typical behaviors for them. For instance, girls are more likely than boys to have a social networking account (72% versus 66%) and to say they always or often update their status (42% versus 29%).

While girls’ openness may help them communicate better, it can also put them at higher risk. One quarter (25%) of girls—including 43% of girls ages 16 to 17—admit to chatting online with people they do not know. Girls are also more likely than boys to get harassed online, share their passwords with friends, give a description of what they look like to strangers, and share photos of themselves.

Meanwhile, boys are more likely to download programs without their parents’ knowledge or those of “adult” content (35%), especially boys ages 16 to 17 (45%).

Given the differences in online behavior between genders, there is a need to talk to boys and girls about the different kinds of risks to which they may be exposed.

Kids today are living rich, active online lives that come with many benefits and some drawbacks, such as cyberbullying, predators, malware, and oversharing of information. That’s why it’s important for you to talk to your kids about potential dangers and how to avoid them.

We can safely assume that kids will continue to spend a large amount of time online and that new technologies, such as location-based services, will give them even greater opportunities to share personal information about themselves. You should try to make sure you have very clear conversations with your children about the kind of information that is safe to share and whom they should share it with. It’s also critical that your kids understand that the information they put online could be there forever. Before posting sensitive information, they need to ask themselves whether they would want their grandmother or a future employer to see it because there’s no guarantee that “deleted” online content is permanently deleted.

Acceptable online behavior is another important topic. Kids and teens need to be taught how to be good digital citizens—to avoid bullying or harassing their friends and classmates online— and how to keep their family computers safe and not to download software without your permission.

You might want to consider setting limits based on age, or use software like McAfee® Family Protection or McAfee Family Protection for iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad Edition. These tools allow you to protect your kids from inappropriate content, sharing confidential information, talking to strangers, and other potentially dangerous activities. When education and awareness are combined with comprehensive security software such as McAfee Total ProtectionTM, you can have more peace of mind knowing that your children and their computers are protected.

The Youth Online Behavior Study for McAfee was conducted online by Harris Interactive from May 4 to May 17, 2010. The U.S. study surveyed 1,357 10- to 17-year-olds (including 402 tweens, ages 10 to 12, 593 teens, ages 13 to 15, and 362 teens, ages 16 to 17). Results were weighted as needed for age, gender, race/ethnicity, and other key variables. Overall data in this report is representative of U.S. tweens and teens, ages 10 to 17.

McAfee, Inc. 3965 Freedom Circle, Santa Clara, CA 95054 1.866.622.3911

For books and resources to help you connect and communicate values to your kids check out our website at:
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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

And Then What?

When I taught school many years ago, I would privately ask each graduating student in my Bible class the following simple question,  “And then what?”  It seems like a simple exercise, but it can be very profound. 

I thought you might consider asking your teens the same question and see what discussion follows. 

The following is a typical discussion I would have with my students.

What do you want to do when you graduate from high school?
            “Go to college.”

And then what?
            “Get a job.”

And then what?
            “Get married.”

And then what?
            “Buy a house and have a family.”

And then what?
            “Coach my child’s Little League team.”

And then what?
            “Buy a boat and a vacation home.”

And then what?
            “Watch my children get married and raise a family.”

And then what?
            “Retire and travel the world with my spouse.”

And then what?
            “Relax at my mountain cabin and become an active grandparent.”

And then what?
            “Grow old and die.”

And then what...

The Bible tells us man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment (Hebrews 9:27).  What will you say to Jesus when you see Him?  Why should He allow you to live with Him in heaven for all eternity? 

The conclusion to life is death.  I don’t want to be morbid, but no one gets out of here alive. 
What are your plans for your future?

For books and resources to help you connect and communicate values to your kids check out our website at:
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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Children 'More Likely To Own A Mobile Phone Than A Book'

Children as young as seven are more likely to own a mobile phone than a book, figures show, fuelling fears over a decline in reading.

By Graeme Paton, Education Editor 
Published: 7:01AM BST 26 May 2010

Almost nine-in-10 pupils now have a mobile compared with fewer than three-quarters who have their own books in the home, it was disclosed.

The study by the National Literacy Trust suggested a link between regular access to books outside school and high test scores.

According to figures, some 80 per cent of children with better than expected reading skills had their own books, compared with just 58 per cent who were below the level expected for their age group.

The disclosure follows the publication of a study found that found keeping just 20 books in the home could boost children’s chances of doing well at school.

Research led by Nevada University, in the United States, said that children coming from a “bookish home” remained in education for around three years longer than young people born into families with empty bookshelves, irrespective of parents’ own education, occupation and social class.

Jonathan Douglas, National Literacy Trust director, said: “Our research illustrates the clear link with literacy resources at home and a child’s reading ability, as well the vital importance of family encouragement.

“By ensuring children have access to reading materials in the home and by encouraging children to love reading, families can help them to do well at school and to enjoy opportunities throughout their life.”

As part of the latest study, the trust surveyed more than 17,000 schoolchildren aged seven to 16.

It found that 85.5 per cent of pupils had their own mobile phone, compared with 72.6 per cent who had their own books. Among children in Key Stage 2 – aged seven to 11 – 79.1 per cent had a mobile compared with 72.7 per cent who had access to books.

The research comes as the trust launches a new campaign - Tell Me a Story - which aims to raise awareness of the need for families to support children’s literacy.

To launch the campaign, the trust is calling on families to spend 10 minutes reading with children as part of Family Week Story Time on June 2.

The latest findings come amid continuing concerns over the effect of modern technology on young people.

In a study last year, researchers from Monash University, Melbourne, Australia, said mobile phones made youngsters less thoughtful and more prone to making mistakes elsewhere in life.

It will also fuel fears over the state of literacy skills among primary school children in England.

Last year, English exam results for 11-year-olds dropped for the first time since Sats tests were introduced in the mid-90s. Some 80 per cent of pupils in England reached Level 4 - the standard for their age - compared with 81 per cent a year earlier.

A report from the National Literacy Trust said: “Simple interactions, such as being read to, and exposure to books, magazines, newspapers and environmental print, impact children’s progress in learning to read, and children who come from richer home literacy environments show higher levels of reading knowledge and skills at the start of kindergarten and throughout primary school.

“There is also ample evidence that parents who promote reading as a valuable and worthwhile activity have children who are motivated to read for pleasure.

“Involvement with reading activities at home has significant positive influences not only on reading achievement, language comprehension and expressive language skills, but also on pupils’ interest in reading, attitudes towards reading and attentiveness in the classroom.”

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The Best Advice Your Father Ever Gave You!

The following are the responses I received from my Facebook fan page when I asked, "What is the best advice your father ever gave you?"  There are a couple of silly responses, but most show deep insight. Hope you find them helpful.  If you have "advice from your father" to add, please post it as a comment.
In His,

There is so much but the one thing i remember and try to pass on to boys, is watch who you hang out with, cause if they get in trouble and you are caught with them weather or not you did the crime you can be punished just by being with them. are stupid. LOL I know it's sounds funny, but its true-he used to always tell me that growing up so I would learn to have patience with them when they don't "get it."

My father said dont eat yellow snow. Thanks Dad.

My father gave me the example of giving. I cannot remember a time where my father was not giving, paying for, or taking care of someone else.

If you cant say anything nice, dont say anything at all

My Dad use to tell My Brothers " never buy a woman You Love a pair of shoes! cause she'll walk out of you life.

If you are going to do it right!

The poem "IF".

Marriage is 100 - 100, not 50-50.

God siaid it, I believe it, that settles it

"Someday" never happens. YOu have to make it happen.

"Keep your powder dry".

"Don't go in reverse any farther than you have to."

Learn how to fight (with your spouse).

Don't give Up!

Work before pleasure

When leaving on a trip. "Remember what you're forgetting right now."

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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Al and Jan's Most Excellent Adventure!

Do you have a “bucket list?”  You know, a list of stuff you want to do before you die?  Well, I just checked off an item from my list.  Jan and I went whitewater rafting on the South Fork of the American River about fifty miles east of Sacramento.

Wow, what a rush!  I’ve been on the inner tube ride at LegoLand with my grandsons, but this was a first for me - rafting on a river that wasn’t in a concrete moat. 

As we put on our life vests, our 23-year-old guide greeted us with the news that she never flipped a boat but we still need to wear these life vests as a safety precaution. Since she hadn’t flipped in her three years of leading trips I barely paid attention to her instructions. 

All I remembered was “face up and head pointed downstream with your feet out of the water. If you find yourself under a raft, push yourself into open water.”  That seemed simple.

When we were getting into the boat she mentioned that since they had such a late winter with heavy snows and a very hot summer, the snow was melting quickly and rushing downriver five times the normal speed. 

The rapids are rated from 1 to 5 with a 1 being a basic river flow and a 5 being a series of swirling rough waters with many obstacles.  Our trip was from a 1 to a 3+, only moving a lot faster because of the extra runoff. 

The first couple of miles were easy 1’s and a few 2’s.  We got splashed but never close to being thrown out of the boat.  After a short lunch we were told to get ready for some gnarly 2’s and 3’s.  Cool!  Literally cold!  The air was a very hot and dry 95 degrees but the water was in the 40’s.  The constant splashing was very comfortable in the heat.

As the canyon narrowed, you could see the flow accelerating and the “rough water” becoming rougher.   I tucked my feet deeper in the toehold.  I loved the excitement but I didn’t want to get dumped. 

One exceptionally steep drop covered us with water and when we came up, the young man sitting in front of me had disappeared.  His companions laughed as we pulled him back on board sans a very expensive pair of prescription sunglasses.  From that point, everyone on board realized this could be serious business.

Then our guide pointed to a tree on a cliff ahead and warned us the river was going to really get rough from that point.  Rougher than we already experienced?  How can that be? 

We found out quickly as we turned the corner and began to get buffeted about like a ping-pong ball.  “Left forward, right back.  All forward!” Our guide yelled paddling instructions to get us through each area and remain topside up. 

Then I felt the right side of the boat drop to the right and start to swirl downward.  The next thing I know I’m under the raft.  All I could think of is her first instructions.  “If you are under the raft, push it way."  As I was scratching along the underside of the raft looking for the surface, I realized I was staying in the same position because the raft was moving forward as fast as I was moving forward. 

It seemed like minutes, but I’m certain it was just a few seconds, before I realized I needed to push myself to the side to get out from under the boat to find air.  I didn't have time to get scared.  When I felt air hit my face I took a deep breath.  I made it!!

Somebody in the following raft yelled to hold on to the rope that was connected to the outside of their raft.  As I did, a couple of people pulled me into the raft by the straps of my life vest.  As they struggled to get this waterlogged old man on board, my lower back kept bouncing on the submerged boulders.  Ow! Ow! Ow!

After flopping on the floor of the second raft I realized I was the last one to be rescued.  Jan had been quickly picked up by another raft.  My rescuers had four of us. 

It took a few minutes to get everyone back in our original boat.  The next few miles of rapids were anticlimactic and a little scary.  No one laughed as we followed our guide’s instructions to a tee. 

I don’t have a spiritual application to this adventure!  I just wanted you to know that a couple of sexagenarians could keep up with the twenty year olds for a few miles on the rapids. What a blast!

As you can see, because we have our gear, glasses and hats, this picture was taken before the spill.  Jan is on the rear right and I’m the third from the left. 
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Monday, June 7, 2010

Freedom from Porn

One CEO Takes a Stand 

June 7, 2010
Mark Earley for
Prison Fellowship president 

In the never-ending battle of the technological titans, score one for Steve Jobs. No, the CEO of Apple hasn't come out with yet another groundbreaking iProduct, at least not since the iPad.

But he's done something even more extraordinary—he's brought good values into the mix.

Jobs has made it clear that he wants to keep pornography off Apple products as much as possible. Obviously Apple can't control everything its users do, but it can make porn scarcer on its products, and it has done just that.

A British newspaper, The Guardian, reports, "So insistent is Apple [on this policy], many magazine publishers developing 'apps' for the new iPad . . . have had to self-censor."

As you might expect, this has triggered a frenzy among some critics. Ryan Tate, a writer for theGawker website, sniped at Jobs about suppressing his customers' "freedom," prompting Jobs to respond, "Yep, freedom from programs that steal your private data. Freedom from programs that trash your battery. Freedom from porn. Yep, freedom."

When Tate replied that he didn't want "freedom from porn," Jobs answered, "You might care more about porn when you have kids." In a correspondence with a consumer, Jobs went even further, speaking of his company's "moral responsibility to keep porn off the iPhone."

How refreshing it is to see someone who actually gets it—that yes, there are those of us who prefer to be free from the storm of smut that assaults us from every television, computer, and phone screen. The supply of pornographic material is so overwhelming that access to it is certainly not an issue of "freedom" anymore, if it ever was.

Jobs has pointed out that people who want to see porn on their phones, and who want easier access to it on their computers, can easily get all they want if they buy other companies' products. But as he said in a press conference, "That's a place we don't want to go—so we're not going to go there."

What Jobs seems to understand, and what his critics seem to be ignoring, is that there's so much more to pornography than just issues of economics or free speech. It shouldn't even need to be explained, but apparently for some people it does: Pornography is an ugly, poisonous, degrading business for everyone involved, whether they're making it, using it, or selling it.

As my colleague Kim Moreland recently mentioned on our blog, The Point, new studies are demonstrating yet again just how dangerous and addictiveit can be. It tears at the fabric of marriages and families and of society itself. Its use is connected from everything to higher divorce rates to human trafficking to the spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

Aside from the occasional reference to protecting kids (which is enough), Steve Jobs didn't go thoroughly into the reasons for his policy. But for whatever reason, he truly is demonstrating corporate responsibility, the kind that we desperately need more businesses to show in this sex-obsessed society.

May he continue to stand by his principles, and may his tribe increase.

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Friday, June 4, 2010

Media Memory Test!

So you are over 40 and you don’t think you’ve been “brainwashed” by the media!  You may have to change your opinion after taking this test.

There are 20 questions in this simple test. The scores increase with your age.  Your teens may not get any correct. 

After taking this “test,” ask yourself when you took the time to memorize the answers?  How did they get into your mind?  You probably haven’t even thought about them for decades but they were just sitting in your subconscious mind waiting for the right situation.  

The same thing is happening to your kids from today’s entertainment media.  Only instead of vitamins, cereal brands, and sports heroes your children are often being “brainwashed” with perversion, profanity, and (sexual) positions.

This “test” may seem silly, but the conclusion is deadly serious.
In His,
Al Menconi
Al Menconi Ministries

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Keep score and send this link to your friends. 

1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?
A. Flintstones vitamins
B. The Buttmaster
C. Spaghetti
D. Wonder Bread
E. Orange Juice
F. Milk
G. Cod Liver Oil

2. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was...
A. Sugar Ray Robinson.
B. Roy Orbison..
C. Gene Autry.
D. Rudolph Valentino.
E. Fabian.
F. Mickey Mantle.
G. Cassius Clay.

3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, 'We have met the enemy and.... 
A. It's you.
B. He is us.
C. It's the Grinch.
D. He wasn't home.
E. He's really me and you.
F. We quit.
G. He surrendered.

4. Good night, David.
A.. Good night, Chet.
B. Sleep well. 
C. Good night, Irene.
D.. Good night, Gracie.
E. See you later, alligator.
F. Until tomorrow.
G. Good night, Steve.

5. You'll wonder where the yellow went...
A. When you use Tide.
B. When you lose your crayons.
C. When you clean your tub.
D. If you paint the room blue. 
E. If you buy a soft water tank.
F. When you use Lady Clairol.
G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent. 

6. Before he was the Skipper's Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie's friend... 
A. Stuart Whitman.
B   Randolph Scott.
C. Steve Reeves..
D. Maynard G. Krebs.
E. Corky B. Dork.
F. Dave the Whale.
G. Zippy Zoo.

7. Liar, liar... 
A. You're a liar.
B. Your nose is growing.
C. Pants on fire.
D. Join the choir 
E. Jump up higher.
F. On the wire.
G. I'm telling Mom.

8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle for truth, justice and....
A. Wheaties.
B. Lois Lane  .
C. TV ratings.
D. World peace.
E. Red tights.
F. The American way.
G. News headlines.

9. Hey kids!  What time is it?
A. It's time for Yogi Bear.
B It's time to do your homework.
C. It's Howdy Doody Time.
D. It's time for Romper Room.
E. It's bedtime.
F... The Mighty Mouse Hour..
G. Scoopy Doo Time..

10. Lions and tigers and bears...
A. Yikes.
B. Oh, no..
C. Gee whiz.
D. I'm scared...
E. Oh my.
F. Help! Help!
G. Let's run.

11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone...
A. Over 40.
B. Wearing a uniform.
C.. Carrying a briefcase.
D. Over 30.
E. You don't know.
F. Who says, 'Trust me'..
G. Who eats tofu.

12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women's stockings...
A. Troy Aikman
B. Kenny Stabler
C. Joe Namath
D. Roger Staubach
E. Joe Montana
F. Steve Young
G. John Elway

13. Brylcream...
A. Smear it on.
B. You'll smell great.
C. Tame that cowlick.
D. Grease ball heaven.
E. It's a dream.
F. We're your team.
G. A little dab'll do ya.

14. I found my thrill...
A. In Blueberry muffins.
B. With my man, Bill.
C. Down at the mill.
D. Over the windowsill.
E. With thyme and dill. 
F. Too late to enjoy.
G. On Blueberry Hill.

15. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by...
A. Clark Gable.
B. Mary Martin.
C. Doris Day.
D. Errol Flynn.
E. Sally Fields.
F. Jim Carrey.
G. Jay Leno.

16. Name the Beatles...
A. John, Steve, George, Ringo
B. John, Paul, George, Roscoe
C. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo
D. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo
E. Lewis, Peter, George, Ringo
F. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel
G. John, Paul, George, Ringo

17. I wonder, wonder, who.
A. Who ate the leftovers?
B. Who did the laundry?
C. Was it you?
D. Who wrote the book of love?
E. Who I am?
F. Passed the test?
G. Knocked on the door?

18. I'm strong to the finish...
A. Cause I eats my broccoli.
B. Cause I eats me spinach.
C. Cause I lift weights.
D. Cause I'm the hero.
E. And don't you for get it.
F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me.
G. To outlast Bruto.

19. When it's least expected, you're elected, you're the star today. 
A. Smile, you're on Candid Camera.
B. Smile, you're on Star Search.
C. Smile, you won the lottery.
D. Smile, we're watching you.
E. Smile, the world sees you.
F. Smile, you're a hit.
G. Smile, you're on TV.

20. What do M & M's do?
A. Make your tummy happy.
B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket.
C. Make you fat.
D.. Melt your heart.
E... Make you popular.
F. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
G. Come in colors.

Below are the right answers:

1. D - Wonder Bread
2. G - Cassius Clay
3. B - He Is us
4. A - Good night, Chet
5. G - When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent
6. D - Maynard G. Krebs 
7. C - Pants on fire
8. F - The American Way  
9. C - It's Howdy Doody Time
10. E - Oh my
11. D - Over 30
12. C - Joe Namath
13. G - A little dab'll do ya
14. G - On Blueberry Hill
15. B - Mary Martin
16. G - John, Paul, George, Ringo
17. D - Who wrote the book of Love
18. B - Cause I eats me spinach
19. A - Smile, you're on Candid Camera
20.. F - Melt in your mouth not in your hand